It is SO difficult for me to listen to my own inner voice. It’s as if she vanished the day the abuse started, and I simply can’t find her again.

Sometimes I think I hear her, and then she fades like smoke.

This is the most frustrating thing I have dealt with since finishing the trauma therapy, is not being able to tune in my own voice long enough to get a sense of what I really want and need in my life.

Instead, I find myself going back and forth between ideas and never settling on anything, mostly because I just don’t know what I want. Even when I get very still and quiet, I STILL can’t hear myself.

DAMN it.