As a survivor of domestic violence, and one who has been through trauma therapy, I have to be aware of a lot of my behaviors. I need to recognize when, for example, I’m subjugating my own needs in order to avoid conflict.
That’s what I’ve been doing lately. I didn’t realize it until yesterday, after a heated discussion with my daughter. She wasn’t angry with me — she was angry about something else that involves me, though. And I realized that, in part, my own behavior has been contributing negatively to this situation.
So I need to rectify it. I need to be brave enough to confront someone. I’ll do it with love, care and respect. But I absolutely must assert myself and not try to bend and twist myself so someone else is more comfortable. In this particular situation, the cost of that “comfort” is too great, for me and even for the other person. It’s damaging our relationship, not helping it.
Wish me luck.