The other day, I read an online comment by a woman who said that she still cares about her abusive ex-husband. She’s been able to make a good life for herself and would like the same for him.
As I thought about her comment, I realized just how polar opposite it is from the way I feel. But if I’m honest, I will say that her words reflect how I felt many, many years ago, before I had fully grappled with the effects of his abuse. I wanted him to admit to what he’d done so he could move forward in his life honestly. I wanted him to be able to have a real relationship with our daughter.
Well, that has never happened, and it never will happen. I have accepted that reality, as difficult as it is. It is an unfortunate truth that he will never take responsibility for what he’s done; the consequences are vast, including never having a relationship with his one and only child. It’s impossible for me to fathom making that kind of choice.