Suffering right now

Lately, I’ve been suffering from a symptom of PTSD that I’ve never had before, not like this. For no reason that I’ve been able to discern, I’ve been having waves of panic at random times, day and night.

I’ve kept track of when they occur, and there doesn’t seem to be any connecting cause. They happen no matter where I am — at home, at work, on the subway, anywhere. I’m not thinking about anything in particular when the wave comes over me.

At first I thought maybe it was hormone related, which I suppose it could be. But my gut tells me it’s related to something emotional, but I haven’t yet been able to figure out what that is.

In any event, these “panic waves” — they’re not really “attacks,” because they don’t last very long and no one even knows I’m having them — are disrupting my life in a major way. I’m now trying self-hypnosis as a remedy for them, and I continue to pursue the cause. I know they won’t stop until I understand why they’re happening, in the first place.

 

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