So much has changed for me

I really want to write a new edition of the book! Or maybe a new book entirely, I’m not sure. I’ll figure it out.

“I Am Just A Woman” accurately depicts my experience of domestic violence and its aftermath. Every word in there is true.

Now, however, I see that I was living with an innocent misunderstanding of where my experience really came from — and also of who I was.

If you are reading this blog post, no matter what has happened to you, you must know this: You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing.

You are healthy, happy and whole. Nothing can touch who you really are, which is a ball of bright light that nothing can ever extinguish.

Please read The Inside-Out Revolution, by Michael Neill. I’ll continue to keep writing about the “Three Principles”¬†described in that book because this new understanding has changed everything about my life.

I feel better than I ever have in my adult life. I have¬†a fab new job starting in a few months. I’m coaching people in the principles and having fun learning more about how to better express them. I finished writing a novel and am exploring what else I might want to write now.

My life is made of infinite freedom. And so is yours. Right now. There is nothing you have to do in order to have it — it’s already yours.

Suffering is optional

When I go through my days now, I have such an incredible sense of peace that I almost can’t believe it.

Gone are the PTSD symptoms, like fear, twitchiness, anxiety, worry.

I don’t even worry about money anymore (even though my finances need a bit of help right now) — something that used to consume my thoughts 24 hours a day.

Instead of pushing to make things happen in my professional life, I’m now being the creation, myself. I’m allowing the creative force — called Mind, in the three principles language — to express itself through me instead of trying to tell it what to do.

The results are rather astonishing, actually. I haven’t made any money yet on my own — well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve made a few dollars by selling a few copies of my novel and from coaching someone in the principles. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m coming at entrepreneurship from an entirely different side now.

My writing life is pretty interesting, as well, with ideas for new novels and short stories happening daily. I just need to set up a good writing schedule for myself, and I’ll be on my way there, too.

I owe it all to my new understanding of how we all work: that Thought is a gift with which we can create our lives, for good or for ill. I created so much suffering for myself for so many years. Now I understand that suffering is optional. I will never suffer again.

An excellent video about PTSD

This video is a great discussion of PTSD related to the three principles of thought, consciousness and mind. Dr. Pettit clearly feels strongly that, in his opinion, his profession — psychiatry — has made things worse for people with PTSD, and actually increased our suffering.

I couldn’t agree more. I know that people go into those professions of counseling and psychiatry to help people, but I was not helped by it at all. I can’t even begin to count up the years I spent in therapy, with some terrible therapists and with some spectacular ones. But even the spectacular ones failed because they were looking at PTSD — and all other mental illnesses, in my opinion — from the completely wrong angle.

If I had understood the three principles earlier, if I had had the language to describe them and actually SEE where my anxiety, etc., were coming from, I could have eliminated my symptoms quickly. Because when I did begin to understand these principles, my life changed effortlessly for the better. I learned, most of all, that THERE WAS/IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.

We don’t have to be afraid of our thoughts or memories, and we don’t have to fight them, as Dr. Pettit says. If we can learn to not be afraid of our thinking and recognize that thought flows like a stream inevitably toward better thinking, and we stop putting rocks in the way by being scared of them or trying to change them, we will feel GREAT. Well-being is our birthright. We are born happy. The only thing that keeps us from feeling it is our being afraid of our thinking.

Where am I?

There have been times in recent weeks when I’ve felt like I’ve been living in the Twilight Zone.

One the one hand, I’ve never felt more connected to who I am, thanks in large part to my new understanding of the Three Principles, which I first learned about from the book “The Inside Out Revolution,” by Michael Neill. This knowledge has changed everything in my life for the better: so much so that I’m now teaching it to others.

On the other hand, there have been times when it feels like I’m not grounded at all. Let me assure you, this is not a bad feeling. I’ve gotten used to it, this sensation of floating and not worrying about where I will land.

Yesterday was a particularly interesting day for me. I went to see a friend of mine in a one-woman play. A few weeks ago, she had told me she was rehearsing it, and I was fascinated that she would take on such a huge acting challenge. I was also interested because I’ve thought about taking my memoir upon which this blog is based and turning it into a play — preferably a one-woman show.

On my subway ride back home after the play, considering the possibilities of what I might create, I again found myself in that floating space, as if I had become unmoored from a ship and was riding the waves, knowing that eventually I would make it to shore but not worrying about what might happen to me in the interim.

So if you were to ask me where I am right now, I wouldn’t have a real answer for you. I’m somewhere in the ocean, floating my way toward something …