What a difference a few days makes

When I see where I was just a few days ago, emotionally and mentally, I am awestruck by the power of the mind — and more importantly, the power I have over my mind.

I have come to understand that my thoughts are mine, and they can be whatever I want them to be. In turn, I can change my feelings almost on a dime just be moving my thoughts a degree this way or that.

A few days ago, I was making the final preparations for an online course I was going to be delivering this weekend. It started Friday night with a live webinar and is still happening right now (Sunday afternoon).

So there I was last Monday, thinking everything was ready to go.

And then I had an epiphany of sorts. I went back through my presentation and realized that it was missing a fundamental piece. It wasn’t that I had overlooked it. It was that it hadn’t quite come together in my mind in a way that I knew I could explain to others.

I had a choice: I could go ahead with what I originally planned, which I knew would be helpful because it is what I had been doing with several coaching clients.

Or I could change everything and try something untested — at least by me — with this small group of people enrolled in my weekend workshop.

After giving it some thought, I went with the latter. For 4 days and nights leading up to the webinar, all I did was work on the presentation. I worked in the morning before I went to my job, at lunch, and when I got home. The day of the webinar, I was still working on it when I got up at 6 am and basically said, At 7:30 am, this is done.

I finished it and went through my day at work, trying to be as present as possible there. Whenever I thought about the webinar and the workshop starting that night, I told myself, This is simply what I must say to these wonderful people because I know it can help them. They’ll either think I’m crazy or that I’ve given them the keys to the kingdom, but I cannot let the outcome deter me from saying what needs to be said.

When the webinar began, I actually didn’t feel nervous at all. I spoke, and I kept sharing from the deepest place inside myself.

A miracle happened. Each person in the group took something from what I said and transformed her own thinking and the way she was feeling. Their comments to me were like something out of a dream come true. That I could be a conduit for this sort of mindset shift in other people that helped them move forward and achieve things they didn’t think they could? It was almost too much for me to comprehend, and still is.

Now I know that I can truly help people in a specific and tangible way. And I intend to broaden my audience to include as many people as possible, starting right now.

Not sleeping …

I feel like a faded flower right now

My entire adult life, I haven’t slept very well.

I’ve gone through periods where I’ve done OK, and I remember one night a few months ago where I slept better than I ever had before. It was after a day of fully forgiving myself for making a mistake and meditating on the beauty of who I am.

It’s time for me to do that again.

The past few weeks, ever since I got back from a vacation, I haven’t slept well at all. I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, to the point where I think I’m only getting maybe four hours of sleep a night. I wake up several times each night without really knowing why.

All day, no matter what I do, I feel terrible.

My remedy starts this evening, because I know this situation is harmful to me. Before I go to bed, I am going to spend 15 minutes meditating on forgiving myself and appreciating the beautiful soul that lives inside me. I plan to do this every night for the next two weeks and see what happens.

I’ll let you know how it goes …


Motivation, and then some

open fieldI am in a new phase of my life where my motivation level is so high, it’s impossible to even measure.

I’m getting closer to my goal of working for myself: making progress, even if it’s slow. I’ve managed to make a little money on my own, and I’m learning how to package my skills in a way that can reap major financial rewards.

More importantly, I’m letting go of all the old beliefs about myself that have held me back. I’m not done yet — these beliefs are pesky — but I’m making progress on that front, too. Beliefs about money, about my worth, about my ability to contribute and help people … they’re all shifting dramatically.

Is life perfect? No. But it’s definitely better. And I’m the one who is making it better.

That feels great, even on days when things don’t quite align. I’m in control of my destiny, my life, my days, my time, my thoughts, my feelings. I now understand where I’ve been and where I am now.

I’m motivated to keep going on this path, and I’m never looking back.