The past couple of weeks have been really draining to me in terms of work, especially. I wrote a post recently that mentioned my difficulties in working in an office situation, and today I made an important decision in that regard.
I’m currently interviewing for a new job that would allow me to telecommute part time at first, leading to full time if things go as expected. If I get this job, I’ll at least feel like I have more control of my time (I’ve telecommuted in the past, so I know what it’s like) and can really do excellent work — I’m sure of that. I don’t want to jinx it, but it’s looking like this job will happen. The only real question is the pay, whether it will be acceptable or not. As of today, I’ve completed the interview process and am waiting on an answer.
But here’s the decision I made today. If I don’t get this job, I am going to ramp up my own business — something related to writing, or a combination of things — and have it making money by September.
Why September? Because I need to be able to quit my current job by then. There is no way I can last there any longer than that. Frankly, I’m not sure I can hold out that long. I’ve worked in hostile environments before, but this one tops them all. My supervisor is a passive-aggressive, mean and controlling bully. She is ruining what I thought would be a great career opportunity for me because of her lack of management skills. I’ve never heard anyone say the things the says to the people in my office: demeaning comments, threats … it’s disgusting and totally unnecessary.
Even if I get the telecommuting job, I’m going to write on the side. I’ll continue writing my books for Kindle under my pen name, and I’ll do some other writing, too — maybe for clients, maybe additional books. I’ve considered publishing an online magazine for people who are or want to be self-employed (especially women “of a certain age,” as they say).
So while I’m feeling a bit tired of all this upheaval, which includes dealing with my husband’s depression right now, I’m also moving forward, one day at a time. I’m getting closer not to an end goal, per se, but to the person that I really am. The woman who might still be able to achieve something.